As I looked at my clock it was 3 am and I still had not written my blog post which was schedule to post in an hour. I had a choice to make. Push PAUSE or push through with no sleep for another night. My Drive and Determination to be consistent and do whatever it takes said, “YOU CAN DO IT”. My Mind, Logic & Reasoning said, “You haven’t missed one in six and a half months, so it isn’t the end of the world.” My body said, “I NEED SLEEP, I can’t keep this pace any more.
Two votes won and I chose to press PAUSE.
I needed to be sharp for delivering a stellar key-note presentation that day and weeks of sleep deprivation were already escalating the risk factor.
As my head hit the pillow I knew it was the hardest right decision I needed to make, at least for that day.
The key note was a hit and the next two days were jammed packed. It was 10 PM Saturday night as my head hit the pillow. AHHH !!! I made it through these last three intense weeks. It was filled with great rewards, the price I paid was worth it with only one missed blog. Now time to PAUSE, REFLECT and RE-EVALUATE.
A BIGGER PAUSE than planned.
As my head hit the pillow my body became ruler. I slept and slept and slept and slept. Fifteen hours had passed before I even opened an eye, it was 12:30 pm. Oops that was a really big PAUSE. AND I didn’t feel rested, I was fried and this day two was going to be a wash out. As I realized what I had done I realized I had paid a greater price than I had realized
REFLECT: WHAT PRICE AM I REALLY PAYING?
My husband’s birthday was Saturday. I had driven my tank so empty that I showed up empty instead of showing up filled up. The person who matters most to me got the least of me. The person I chose to do life with got the crumbs. As I laid there Sunday afternoon, missing most the day we were to celebrate him as a family. It was in that moment I MADE A DECISION to LEAVE the PAUSE BUTTON pressed for awhile at least on several items that were on my plate.
REEVALUATE: TIME TO SIFT AND SORT
Without realizing it I had returned to my OLD WAYS of MAKING it HAPPEN. DRIVE HARD. DEPLETE the tank until I can’t go anymore. It had been a long time since I allowed that to happen.
The past few days I did a lot of reflecting, not just on the writing of my blog, or on my business, rather on my entire life. I usually do this type of reflection the week between Christmas and New Years, however this year I got a head start. Not by my brilliant design. Rather by my crazy endless drive and missing out on a cherished part of my life.
I now have a new plan based on WHAT GETS THE BEST of ME and What I say NO to.
I just don’t do things half way. It is either all or nothing, so to some things it is now NOthing.
WHAT is GETTING the BEST of YOU?
WHAT do you need to say, “NO” to?
Would those who love and respect your most agree with your decision?